I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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