Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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