they need to just BURY HIM!
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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