Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
