I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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