Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
