my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
