im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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