my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
