I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need water and some morals
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
