I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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