So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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