Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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