So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
