I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize