Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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