Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This house was built for laser tag.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
