I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
