The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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