i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
