Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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