He had one of those small greek statue penises
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
