when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
