ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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