Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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