I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize