Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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