i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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