My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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