in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
