Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Its about making memories worth repressing
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
