he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
