Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
