You just made me feel so damn special
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
