the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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