Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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