i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This baby is an asshole
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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