The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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