Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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