Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
