YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
