the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
