That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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