omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
