WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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