yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
