I wannas sexs uuuuu
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will be naked everywhere
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
sex in a hospital.. check
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
