this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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