Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
