We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
