I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
