so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
