Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
