youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
