Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
