sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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