A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
