his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
