Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize