my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
